Day 26 - Moving Out

This post was typed up on Day 26, but will be timed to post sometime after I'm on my way to Afghanistan.

The day is finally here when I'm leaving the country and it's such a mixture of emotions. I've been out of the country plenty of times, but the longest was two weeks in the United Kingdom a few years ago for some military training. Going for nearly a year is something that is totally new to me.

I've been in the Army for over ten years now and being deployed is something that you are always preparing for, but actually going someplace is something I think you can never really entirely prepare yourself.

Someone asked me tonight if I'm excited about going and I was at a lost at the emotion I'm feeling, and I really don't think that there is an emotion that can accurately describe what it feels like.

The closest that I can come to the describing how I feel is to relate it to the one other time that I've felt like this and that was a lifetime ago in high school, my sophomore year to be exact. It's exactly like I felt when I was getting ready to start my first varsity football game.

I was sixteen and getting ready to play what felt like the big show. I'd spent years playing at different levels, hours upon hours sweating in the gym, countless hours on the practice field, and many nights lying awake imaging what it would be like to run onto the field and hear my name announced in the starting lineup. I'd dreamt about what it would be like to have a game go down to the wire and come out victorious. I'd imagined myself in countless situations and how I'd react.

It feels the same way now. I've basically spent a huge portion of my adult life preparing for this moment. I've trained on every imaginable task and then retrained on the same tasks again and again. I've been stressed to what I thought was near the limit of human endurance under mental and physical strain and finally the hour is upon me to put everything to the test.

If there is an emotion to describe this, just take your choice, because I've felt them all the last day and will be feeling them through the next few days. Sad, nervous, excited, anxious, content, harried, hurried, frayed, pleased, relaxed, tired, grumpy, stressed, bored, and lonely.

Until next time....